There was a thunderstorm last night and I was way too hyper to do much of anything.
What did we do yesterday....
Tour of Haverford college. Nice place, I loved their library. But I like Bryn Mawr campus better.
Topic conferences to get comments for our first draft. D liked mine and had really interesting things to say about it. Things I hadn't really ever focused on when looking at my own work. Like character motivation in relation to description. Is something described in a way that relates to how this character thinks, not just because it sounds cool. And the use of adjectives in relation to the tone and feel of the scene.
Today in class we talked about truth. The first thing I said was does the truth matter. No one else has been in my English class.
Last night we had an open mic night. It was really cool to hear other people's works. Our MC was one of the Urban Studies profs and she said "If I pronounce anyone's names wrong, tell me. And lets welcome J.C." J.C. is one of the Creative Writing Profs, she's really cool. She got up to read her poem and said: "That's not how you pronounce my name." The other Urban Studies prof read a poem in the same accent as Tia Dalma from Pirates, I forget what it's called. But it was awesome!
We're turning in the revised draft of our first piece tomorrow. I have spent the past twenty four hours thinking about four pages. Today I played with two paragraphs for an hour. I wish I went over the rest of it with such a fine toothed comb but my patience is not that good. Oh well, I'm pretty happy with it. I think if I add any more to it I'll kill it. So - enough!
The people here are nuts. The science people officially hate us, we've been banned from the third floor lounge. So we're going to steal their DVD player and watch Rocky Horror.
At lunch we were talking... about racism! That's right, the Urban Studies kids were talking about it this morning. And we were talking about racist ice cream and then Paloma (she's from Bolivia and she's awesome) said "I have a friend who's bi-curious." And Ruth said: "So he's like ice cream?"
They've also come up with new ethnicities. Like 'Blasian' which is a black Asian. And 'Blew' - a black jew. And decided, that since I'm like two drops Hawaiian, I'm Asian. Don't know how that works out.
This afternoon an actor named... something I forget, came and did a part of her one act for us. It was amazing. She was like... five different people and there were a lot more in the rest of the play. Her British accent was beautiful. The play was... the Sangryia Tree, I think. I don't have my schedule with me.
Tomorrow we're going to Philadelphia.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
The Science People
I love camp, I just heard the best dirty joke:
A hippie gets on a bus and sits down next to a nun. He asks the nun to have sex with him. She says no and gets off the bus. The driver asks the hippie if he wants to know how to get the nun to have sex with him. The hippie says yes so the driver tells him that if he goes to the cemetery on Tuesday night she'll be there praying to God. All he has to do is dress up as God and she'll do what he asks. So the hippie does and the nun says she'll have sex with him but it has to be anal sex so she can keep her virginity. Afterwards the hippie pulls of his disguise and says "Haha, I'm the hippie!" Then the nun jumps up and says "Haha! I'm the bus driver!"
I love it!
I'm having so much fun. The people, so far, are really cool. They're fun to hang out with and really inviting. Some are really quirky. A few of us went into to town to go to Starbucks tonight. My mocha was 2.76. What the fuck people. Really. Earlier today we had a "mapping the community" exercise where we talked about what we want the group to look like and how we want people to treat everyone. And everyone was really... sincere. Which was cool. And I actually felt more connected to everyone afterwards. Which was cool.
Class this morning was really intense. Everyone was very into the discussion and it seemed very fast paced to me. But I can see how much I can learn and that's exciting. I really like the book we're reading.
We have the first draft of our creative piece due tomorrow. I'm sort of satisfied with mine. It's good enough for now, but has some work still.
We're having fun, the science people (who are very antisocial with everyone else) have taken over the third floor lounge. So tonight while they were downstairs watching the Disney Cinderella the third floor writers and the fourth floor kids and some other people took over their lounge. They were not happy when they came back. We also asked if it turned out okay for Cinderella. And insinuated that they've been capturing the squirrels and using chemicals to burn the hair off their tails.
I don't think they like us very much.
Other news: US women's soccer beat Brazil 2-0. Fuck yes. And I'm in love with Madeline Kahn.
A hippie gets on a bus and sits down next to a nun. He asks the nun to have sex with him. She says no and gets off the bus. The driver asks the hippie if he wants to know how to get the nun to have sex with him. The hippie says yes so the driver tells him that if he goes to the cemetery on Tuesday night she'll be there praying to God. All he has to do is dress up as God and she'll do what he asks. So the hippie does and the nun says she'll have sex with him but it has to be anal sex so she can keep her virginity. Afterwards the hippie pulls of his disguise and says "Haha, I'm the hippie!" Then the nun jumps up and says "Haha! I'm the bus driver!"
I love it!
I'm having so much fun. The people, so far, are really cool. They're fun to hang out with and really inviting. Some are really quirky. A few of us went into to town to go to Starbucks tonight. My mocha was 2.76. What the fuck people. Really. Earlier today we had a "mapping the community" exercise where we talked about what we want the group to look like and how we want people to treat everyone. And everyone was really... sincere. Which was cool. And I actually felt more connected to everyone afterwards. Which was cool.
Class this morning was really intense. Everyone was very into the discussion and it seemed very fast paced to me. But I can see how much I can learn and that's exciting. I really like the book we're reading.
We have the first draft of our creative piece due tomorrow. I'm sort of satisfied with mine. It's good enough for now, but has some work still.
We're having fun, the science people (who are very antisocial with everyone else) have taken over the third floor lounge. So tonight while they were downstairs watching the Disney Cinderella the third floor writers and the fourth floor kids and some other people took over their lounge. They were not happy when they came back. We also asked if it turned out okay for Cinderella. And insinuated that they've been capturing the squirrels and using chemicals to burn the hair off their tails.
I don't think they like us very much.
Other news: US women's soccer beat Brazil 2-0. Fuck yes. And I'm in love with Madeline Kahn.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Maybe I like this place
You know, I might really like it here. It's pretty damn cool. Day one was fun.
Got up, took a shower, went to breakfast. Food, unfortunately is all the way across campus and is the farthest thing we have to walk to. And they put spicy stuff in their potatoes. WTF. I was very annoyed. The rest of the food is pretty good. I'm still alive.
We have our first class at 9:30, which sure as hell beats zero hour. They're in a building across the street that looks sort of like an obese cottage. Very cute, just large. We go in, past stairs, to the left into our lecture hall. Everyone sits in a circle in a very strange chairs. My teachers are... really, really, really awesome. I'm not awake enough to come up with more interesting adjectives, but they're really cool. They're very laid back and are just as interested in listening to us as talking. We had seminar for an hour where we discussed last nights reading and basically said... whatever we wanted. We're reading really cool stuff. Then we had workshop with writing prompts. Oh yeah, there are the most brilliant window seats in the lecture hall, they're about two feet deep, made out of marble-y looking stuff. I saw a chipmunk out the window. It looked like a normal chipmunk just had its tail straight up in the air like it was constantly being electrocuted. The prompts, like everything else so far, are very open ended, but I liked them. After we discussed what wrote and gave constructive-ish criticism.
Then lunch. More food. Some questionable. Then... Topic conferences, that's right. I really liked this. We have two profs, right, we signed up in the morning to meet with one. I met with D, who's very cool and easy to talk to. And we just talked ideas for twenty minutes. We have a creative piece due on Wednesday and we talked that around. It was really helpful and I came out feeling a lot more sure about what I was going to do.
We did our reading and wrote the paper for tomorrow in the afternoon, had a tour of the computer lab and did a group journal exercise. The sunsets here are gorgeous and I saw a good bench to watch from I just didn't get a chance to get down there.
Tomorrow: Go to library, buy postcards (not at the library)
Got up, took a shower, went to breakfast. Food, unfortunately is all the way across campus and is the farthest thing we have to walk to. And they put spicy stuff in their potatoes. WTF. I was very annoyed. The rest of the food is pretty good. I'm still alive.
We have our first class at 9:30, which sure as hell beats zero hour. They're in a building across the street that looks sort of like an obese cottage. Very cute, just large. We go in, past stairs, to the left into our lecture hall. Everyone sits in a circle in a very strange chairs. My teachers are... really, really, really awesome. I'm not awake enough to come up with more interesting adjectives, but they're really cool. They're very laid back and are just as interested in listening to us as talking. We had seminar for an hour where we discussed last nights reading and basically said... whatever we wanted. We're reading really cool stuff. Then we had workshop with writing prompts. Oh yeah, there are the most brilliant window seats in the lecture hall, they're about two feet deep, made out of marble-y looking stuff. I saw a chipmunk out the window. It looked like a normal chipmunk just had its tail straight up in the air like it was constantly being electrocuted. The prompts, like everything else so far, are very open ended, but I liked them. After we discussed what wrote and gave constructive-ish criticism.
Then lunch. More food. Some questionable. Then... Topic conferences, that's right. I really liked this. We have two profs, right, we signed up in the morning to meet with one. I met with D, who's very cool and easy to talk to. And we just talked ideas for twenty minutes. We have a creative piece due on Wednesday and we talked that around. It was really helpful and I came out feeling a lot more sure about what I was going to do.
We did our reading and wrote the paper for tomorrow in the afternoon, had a tour of the computer lab and did a group journal exercise. The sunsets here are gorgeous and I saw a good bench to watch from I just didn't get a chance to get down there.
Tomorrow: Go to library, buy postcards (not at the library)
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Arrival
It’s very bright here. I don’t think clouds exist. Except on the nametag on my door.
The plane was a bucket of bolts, it’s a miracle we made it. The little TVs flipped down from the ceiling and we watched the safety movie in English and Spanish. The little TVs flipped back up. And back down again. And we watched the safety video again in English and Spanish. Then I listened to the two old guys next to me compare a kidney transplant to fixing a car. I was slightly worried. And went to sleep.
Got completely lost on the way here with Mr. Taxi Driver who barely spoke English. But we made it. Everything is made out of stone and the first thing I thought of when I saw it was Jeff and how he’d love to climb the buildings. The dorm is very dusty and the creaking of the floors is louder than our violin section. I’m in room 306 on the third floor, which is probably bad because I’ll have to make a conscious effort to be social. Which is not my forte. And there are only three other people up here in my class, the rest are below. But I'm actually pretty pleased about it, I get lots of space.
The people are alright so far. One of the girls on my floor is from Bolivia, she's really cool. Another girl is into Wicked and Broadway, so we'll have something to talk about. I'm one of three people from the west coast.
East coast people are interesting. They're very... hardcore. They seem to be really into everything they're doing. Where as, in Olympia at least, we're mellow about everything. And they all seem pretty conservative - I've already got a couple on my list to not bring up politics around.
Now the people running the program... they're my kind of people. The coordinator is awesome, and everyone else has sort of the Evergreen vibe. Without the Greener vibe. If that makes sense.
Oh, there's file sharing here on itunes, so there's all this music from other people. Lots of Spamalot and... for some reason, all the Brandenburg concertos.
There are little gold plaques on my window frame that say things like: “Caitlyn Clark ‘07” and “Linda Claire Bush ‘85” and “O.T.E. loves M.V.” The last is by far the most interesting.
Have to go do reading for class tomorrow. We have a segment from the Woman Warrior. Now I'm glad I read that book.
Red eyes suck. Slept maybe three hours. Have no idea what day it is.
The airport was fine. I sat at the gate next to a woman in a black trench coat who texted “crazy about u” to someone then read a wedding magazine thicker than half the books we read for English last year. I sat next to her and read ‘The History of Homosexuality’ in the Stranger. We did not converse. Speaking of the Stranger, I recommend checking out this week's Control Tower, it's hilarious.The plane was a bucket of bolts, it’s a miracle we made it. The little TVs flipped down from the ceiling and we watched the safety movie in English and Spanish. The little TVs flipped back up. And back down again. And we watched the safety video again in English and Spanish. Then I listened to the two old guys next to me compare a kidney transplant to fixing a car. I was slightly worried. And went to sleep.
Got completely lost on the way here with Mr. Taxi Driver who barely spoke English. But we made it. Everything is made out of stone and the first thing I thought of when I saw it was Jeff and how he’d love to climb the buildings. The dorm is very dusty and the creaking of the floors is louder than our violin section. I’m in room 306 on the third floor, which is probably bad because I’ll have to make a conscious effort to be social. Which is not my forte. And there are only three other people up here in my class, the rest are below. But I'm actually pretty pleased about it, I get lots of space.
The people are alright so far. One of the girls on my floor is from Bolivia, she's really cool. Another girl is into Wicked and Broadway, so we'll have something to talk about. I'm one of three people from the west coast.
East coast people are interesting. They're very... hardcore. They seem to be really into everything they're doing. Where as, in Olympia at least, we're mellow about everything. And they all seem pretty conservative - I've already got a couple on my list to not bring up politics around.
Now the people running the program... they're my kind of people. The coordinator is awesome, and everyone else has sort of the Evergreen vibe. Without the Greener vibe. If that makes sense.
Oh, there's file sharing here on itunes, so there's all this music from other people. Lots of Spamalot and... for some reason, all the Brandenburg concertos.
There are little gold plaques on my window frame that say things like: “Caitlyn Clark ‘07” and “Linda Claire Bush ‘85” and “O.T.E. loves M.V.” The last is by far the most interesting.
Have to go do reading for class tomorrow. We have a segment from the Woman Warrior. Now I'm glad I read that book.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Leaving
Leaving for the airport.
Have accepted the fact that:
My parents are going to kill my plants
My coffee will cost more
The CDs I didn't put on my iPod are the ones I will want later
I will want the raincoat that is in the boat house and probably moldy.
The flight is going to suck
Have accepted the fact that:
My parents are going to kill my plants
My coffee will cost more
The CDs I didn't put on my iPod are the ones I will want later
I will want the raincoat that is in the boat house and probably moldy.
The flight is going to suck
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
New Life for the Blog
Since Parker says he's restarting his blog, I have to as well. Unlike Parker's, mine actually has a point.
I plan to use this as a travel blog over the next month while I'm on the East Coast for my friends and family to keep up with me. Because I think it will be easier than mass emails. And I'm lazy.
So - I leave Saturday. My plane leaves in the six o'clock range and I'll take a red eye to the Philadelphia airport. From there I take a cab to Byrn Mawr and try to find a key to get into my dorm. If I can find my dorm. Then I will get massive amounts coffee.
Three weeks at Bryn Mawr then my parents pick me up and we go to Massachusetts to see Mount Holyoke. If I didn't find any feminists at Bryn Mawr I will certainly find them here. From there we go to Long Island to spend a night with a friend of my mother. We take the ferry from there to New York City and spend a week there to see more schools and Wicked. I get home on the 26th of July.
Theoretically, that's the plan.
-L
I plan to use this as a travel blog over the next month while I'm on the East Coast for my friends and family to keep up with me. Because I think it will be easier than mass emails. And I'm lazy.
So - I leave Saturday. My plane leaves in the six o'clock range and I'll take a red eye to the Philadelphia airport. From there I take a cab to Byrn Mawr and try to find a key to get into my dorm. If I can find my dorm. Then I will get massive amounts coffee.
Three weeks at Bryn Mawr then my parents pick me up and we go to Massachusetts to see Mount Holyoke. If I didn't find any feminists at Bryn Mawr I will certainly find them here. From there we go to Long Island to spend a night with a friend of my mother. We take the ferry from there to New York City and spend a week there to see more schools and Wicked. I get home on the 26th of July.
Theoretically, that's the plan.
-L
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Bored in Bio
Yeah, I really only update this at school. And never with anything particularly interesting to say. Bored in bio. Sick of transcription, translation, and replication. It can go die, I don't care how DNA does its thing. Psych test moved till Monday, thank god. HOTA quiz wasn't as bad as I expected.
Six more minutes... what can I talk about for six more mintues?
Five more minutes.
New story on LJ that's very good. I don't like too much angst but a fair bit is fine. I can handle as much fluff as they'll throw at me, fluff is good.
Hah, time to go!
Six more minutes... what can I talk about for six more mintues?
Five more minutes.
New story on LJ that's very good. I don't like too much angst but a fair bit is fine. I can handle as much fluff as they'll throw at me, fluff is good.
Hah, time to go!
Monday, January 22, 2007
ABBY!!!!
So it would appear I only update this when I am putting off homework or I am at school. It had a better purpose when it was an exercise blog. Now I just ramble about things. Like the next WNT game on the 26th against Germany. Which we actually might not win. Because our four best players aren't playing. Where the fuck is Abby and why isn't she playing. And Lilly and Aly. At least they're back for the offical world cup games.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Random Update
I don't really know why I'm updating this. Maybe because Parker updated his and I must keep up. If I do start using this I'll have four blogs. That seems too many for anyone. Even me, who likes to ramble on about myself more then the sane person. And LJ is just a better blog host. That's how it goes.
This is shit, it's only January and I've lost all interest in doing homework. Lost all motivation for doing anything which annoys me to no end. Like the biology lab that would take me about five minutes if I just felt like doing it. I've been telling myself I need to do it for the past two hours and I still haven't worked up the energy. That's sad.
Going to do the bio lab. Need the sleep.
Goodnight.
This is shit, it's only January and I've lost all interest in doing homework. Lost all motivation for doing anything which annoys me to no end. Like the biology lab that would take me about five minutes if I just felt like doing it. I've been telling myself I need to do it for the past two hours and I still haven't worked up the energy. That's sad.
Going to do the bio lab. Need the sleep.
Goodnight.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
School
Hey cool! I figured out how to update this blog from school without getting the access denied dealie. I tried to figure it out during english yesterday, but it wouldn't work.
Today I'm sitting in on a blog workshop that Anderson is putting on for the teachers. I think it's very, very amusing. He's very well versed in the subject. He probably knows how to get around all the firewalls. I think I want to be a computer hacker in my next life. Foiling computer system gives me such joy. Sort of like biking really fast in the roundabouts.
I can sign up for NaNo on Sunday!!!!
Today I'm sitting in on a blog workshop that Anderson is putting on for the teachers. I think it's very, very amusing. He's very well versed in the subject. He probably knows how to get around all the firewalls. I think I want to be a computer hacker in my next life. Foiling computer system gives me such joy. Sort of like biking really fast in the roundabouts.
I can sign up for NaNo on Sunday!!!!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Spanish Poetry
Today's Monday so I should update in Spanish, but I don't have the energy. I did get a Spanish English dictionary that tells me how to say all sorts of lovely things. I'm quite thrilled by it.
PRIMARY TOMORROW!!!
It's very sad I'm so into this and I can't even vote. I blame Sparkle Parkle.
Since I'm not updating in Spanish, a Spanish poem. Hopefully I'll have it translated by next Monday.
AL OIDO DEL LECTOR
No fue pasion aquello,
Fue una ternura vaga...
La que inspiran los ninos enfermizos,
Los tiempos idos y las noches palidas.
El espiritu solo
Al conmoverse canta:
Cuando el amor lo agita poderoso
Tiembla, medita, se recoge y calla.
Pasion hubiera sido
En verdad; estas paginas
En otro tiempo mas feliz escritas,
No tuvieron estrofas sino lagrimas.
-Jose Asuncion Silva
PRIMARY TOMORROW!!!
It's very sad I'm so into this and I can't even vote. I blame Sparkle Parkle.
Since I'm not updating in Spanish, a Spanish poem. Hopefully I'll have it translated by next Monday.
AL OIDO DEL LECTOR
No fue pasion aquello,
Fue una ternura vaga...
La que inspiran los ninos enfermizos,
Los tiempos idos y las noches palidas.
El espiritu solo
Al conmoverse canta:
Cuando el amor lo agita poderoso
Tiembla, medita, se recoge y calla.
Pasion hubiera sido
En verdad; estas paginas
En otro tiempo mas feliz escritas,
No tuvieron estrofas sino lagrimas.
-Jose Asuncion Silva
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Ballad
The Ballad of Stacy
Stacy oh Stacy where art thou?
Stacy I miss you I do.
I look for you blindly
Like a spider biting you kindly
And peanut butter and jeeeeeeellllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy!
Are you lost on the sea in a boat?
Or a rubber duck stuck in a moat.
The poor little ducky squeals a quack-quack
See, without you lunch is all wack!
You survived the Wendy's advances
And knew how to take chances.
Don't get eaten by Parker's car
Like a bug in a jam jar.
Oh Stacy oh Stacy where art thou?!?!?!?!?!?!
Stacy oh Stacy where art thou?
Stacy I miss you I do.
I look for you blindly
Like a spider biting you kindly
And peanut butter and jeeeeeeellllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy!
Are you lost on the sea in a boat?
Or a rubber duck stuck in a moat.
The poor little ducky squeals a quack-quack
See, without you lunch is all wack!
You survived the Wendy's advances
And knew how to take chances.
Don't get eaten by Parker's car
Like a bug in a jam jar.
Oh Stacy oh Stacy where art thou?!?!?!?!?!?!
Funny Lawyers
Lawyers amuse me. And this blog host would amuse me too if I could figure how to make a cut. Or is that just on LJ? Maybe only LJ's cool enough for cuts. Either way, without one it makes this a very long post. Taken from actual court cases.
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something
that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to
and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on
her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning
you and she, with him to the station?
Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.?
What school do you go to?
A. Oral.
Q. How old are you?
A. Oral.
Q: What is your relationship with the victim?
A: She is my daughter.
Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?
Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A: He didn't offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.
Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q: It was covered?
A: Yes, bandaged.
Q: Then, later on.. what did you see?
A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.
Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?
A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.
Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Q: Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.
Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
Q. What is your brother-in-law's name?
A. Borofkin.
Q. What's his first name?
A. I can't remember.
Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't
remember his first name?
A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair
and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell them
your first name!
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A. By death.
Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
Q. What is your name?
A. Ernestine McDowell.
Q. And what is your marital status?
A. Fair.
Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.
Q. And who is this person you are speaking of?
A. My ex-widow said it.
Q. How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
A. Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children
by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.
Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
A. I should be.
Q. How many times have you committed suicide?
A. Four times.
Q. Were you acquainted with the deceased?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. Before or after he died?
Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the
influence?
A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his
words.
Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can
identify me."
Q. Did he kill you?
A. No.
Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all
present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have
any.
Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Hello
I've decided to update this because Kristin Chenoweth got a blog on the same server. And it makes me feel important. Unfortunately, I haven't very much of anything interesting to say. So, all saying will be uninteresting. Tis Pity, I know.
I think I'm going to be a song writer. Because I keep writing odes to things. My policy is, I write odes to things (nouns and adjectives) such as crew, and ballads to people (proper nouns) like Stacy, and fraternity pledges to Stephens. I don't know what part of speech Stephens are, but if anyone knows, they should inform me ASAP.
Otherwise, life is good. The democrats have me working long hours doing a job I find rather demoralizing. But someone has to call people and get yelled at. Or get meowed at. Seriously, if the Democratic party called would you meow at them? Or is the cat just really overzealous? I'm going to learn how to play bike polo this weekend at Homo-a-GoGo and I'm very excited.
The story with the letters has gone no where. If anyone has any plot-like ideas I'm open to suggestions. In the meantime I think I will be writing a story about Yoda. Can Yoda be a god in Jarkerism? Please?
I quote the Shoebox Project: I do believe in commas, I do, I do!
I think I'm going to be a song writer. Because I keep writing odes to things. My policy is, I write odes to things (nouns and adjectives) such as crew, and ballads to people (proper nouns) like Stacy, and fraternity pledges to Stephens. I don't know what part of speech Stephens are, but if anyone knows, they should inform me ASAP.
Otherwise, life is good. The democrats have me working long hours doing a job I find rather demoralizing. But someone has to call people and get yelled at. Or get meowed at. Seriously, if the Democratic party called would you meow at them? Or is the cat just really overzealous? I'm going to learn how to play bike polo this weekend at Homo-a-GoGo and I'm very excited.
The story with the letters has gone no where. If anyone has any plot-like ideas I'm open to suggestions. In the meantime I think I will be writing a story about Yoda. Can Yoda be a god in Jarkerism? Please?
I quote the Shoebox Project: I do believe in commas, I do, I do!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
My pond
My pond is done. I'm so pleased with myself. Well, not completely done, but done for now, I might make adjustments later.
Pictures!!
Really sunny.
My fish, there are actually seven but one was hiding.
Truman the Duck
Pictures!!
Really sunny.
My fish, there are actually seven but one was hiding.
Truman the Duck
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Introduction
Intro! For Parker
Vita is a college age student living in a fictional London type place. She lives in a crappy flat with two guys, Jasper and Duncan. Jasper is a singer and an actor, a gay straight guy who thinks he’s too cool for school. Duncan is a painter and a sculptor who takes philosophy classes, he’s very avant-garde, bohemian, very serious, always in love. Mrs. Mitchell is their landlady. Mr. Cabbage used to be a professor at the university until he retired to the country. But he gets bored so he still writes to Vita. Lady Otter is a society lady who’s manipulative, controlling, and generally evil. I think she’s fascinating. Vita used to be her secretary but quit. There’s only two other people who haven’t come up yet, Dorothy: Vita’s rich friend who spends all her time traveling to random locations and sends a lot of postcards. And Ms. West, who teaches at the college and is Vita’s nemesis. I think I’m introducing one other person later, but I’ll let you know. Everyone else is pointless and you can ignore them.
There- Happy?
Oh, and Vita is NOT me. In case you were wondering.
Now I'm off to come up with something vaguely plot-like
Vita is a college age student living in a fictional London type place. She lives in a crappy flat with two guys, Jasper and Duncan. Jasper is a singer and an actor, a gay straight guy who thinks he’s too cool for school. Duncan is a painter and a sculptor who takes philosophy classes, he’s very avant-garde, bohemian, very serious, always in love. Mrs. Mitchell is their landlady. Mr. Cabbage used to be a professor at the university until he retired to the country. But he gets bored so he still writes to Vita. Lady Otter is a society lady who’s manipulative, controlling, and generally evil. I think she’s fascinating. Vita used to be her secretary but quit. There’s only two other people who haven’t come up yet, Dorothy: Vita’s rich friend who spends all her time traveling to random locations and sends a lot of postcards. And Ms. West, who teaches at the college and is Vita’s nemesis. I think I’m introducing one other person later, but I’ll let you know. Everyone else is pointless and you can ignore them.
There- Happy?
Oh, and Vita is NOT me. In case you were wondering.
Now I'm off to come up with something vaguely plot-like
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Lillies
Dear Mr. Cabbage,
I'm very sorry to hear the dogs trampled your lillies. That's what comes from having dogs. At least you're getting a 'very sorry' from me. I told Jasper, he doesn't care a wit. I wanted to tell Duncan, as he is bound to care, you know him, but he's been out wandering since yesterday afternoon. Jasper says he's in love, although with whom we couldn't say. I hope he is. Things are always so much more entertaining when Duncan's in love.
Mrs. Mitchell has actually noticed you're gone. And not only noticed but done something about it. She pulled me aside on the stair well and told me for a good half hour (I was late for work of course) about how you never came around for tea and gingersnaps anymore. I told her you've moved and she almost started to cry. I almost started to laugh. She says you must come and see her. So there's your excuse to come to town. Lady Otter is ignoring me.
Vita
I'm very sorry to hear the dogs trampled your lillies. That's what comes from having dogs. At least you're getting a 'very sorry' from me. I told Jasper, he doesn't care a wit. I wanted to tell Duncan, as he is bound to care, you know him, but he's been out wandering since yesterday afternoon. Jasper says he's in love, although with whom we couldn't say. I hope he is. Things are always so much more entertaining when Duncan's in love.
Mrs. Mitchell has actually noticed you're gone. And not only noticed but done something about it. She pulled me aside on the stair well and told me for a good half hour (I was late for work of course) about how you never came around for tea and gingersnaps anymore. I told her you've moved and she almost started to cry. I almost started to laugh. She says you must come and see her. So there's your excuse to come to town. Lady Otter is ignoring me.
Vita
Monday, May 01, 2006
Snippy
Dear Mr. Cabbage,
So you haven't forgotten me. Or do you only write when you're in town to see the opera? Sorry, teasing. I haven't seen Madam Butterfly yet, Jasper is boycotting it. He tried out for the lead and lost it because he was too young. One would think that would help his vanity not hurt it. I'll try and get in later this week.
I stopped working for Caroline Otter the week before you left, and I haven't started again. She's poisonous. But you know me too well, I'm still in contact with her. She was in Paris last week, I wasn't asked to come. She saw Lawrence Massey anyway, someone I could never see again and it would be too much. I know this will make you sniffy. Blow your nose. She has her good days.
I'm glad you're enjoying the retired life. Wordsworth misses you dreadfully, come and collect her?
Vita
So you haven't forgotten me. Or do you only write when you're in town to see the opera? Sorry, teasing. I haven't seen Madam Butterfly yet, Jasper is boycotting it. He tried out for the lead and lost it because he was too young. One would think that would help his vanity not hurt it. I'll try and get in later this week.
I stopped working for Caroline Otter the week before you left, and I haven't started again. She's poisonous. But you know me too well, I'm still in contact with her. She was in Paris last week, I wasn't asked to come. She saw Lawrence Massey anyway, someone I could never see again and it would be too much. I know this will make you sniffy. Blow your nose. She has her good days.
I'm glad you're enjoying the retired life. Wordsworth misses you dreadfully, come and collect her?
Vita
Dear Lady Otter,
Yes, I’m still working at the café. You think it’s low class and dirty and a terrible place to work. You’ve told me. But you’re not working there, I am. I like there. It pays well and the hours aren’t horrible and there are interesting people.
Of course I’m still going to school. How could you even think I wouldn’t be.
Now look what you’ve made me do, I’ve gotten snippy. We’ve got different lifestyles. I’m glad you enjoyed Paris. It was always too fast of a city for me. No matter how much you told me to like it. You take everything faster than I do anyway, I’ve got to absorb. Thank you for mentioning me to that friend of yours. I do appreciate it, I do, but don’t do it again. Duncan hates it.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Parakeet
Dear Lady Otter,
Most glad to have recieved your letter. I had heard you were going to Paris and was worried it had missed you. It is a pity you are in Paris, the street fair was wonderful. It rained most of the day but the sun came out just as the parade started. The whole crowd seemed united in a common age by the general excitement. My cousin Julian says you were asked to join his club he started with some friends. Take my advice and don't. It's very frivilous and tiresome. Come and visit me when you get back unless you stay until after the fourth, I'm going out to Leaska to hear a lecture on magic.
Yours very sincerely, Vita
Most glad to have recieved your letter. I had heard you were going to Paris and was worried it had missed you. It is a pity you are in Paris, the street fair was wonderful. It rained most of the day but the sun came out just as the parade started. The whole crowd seemed united in a common age by the general excitement. My cousin Julian says you were asked to join his club he started with some friends. Take my advice and don't. It's very frivilous and tiresome. Come and visit me when you get back unless you stay until after the fourth, I'm going out to Leaska to hear a lecture on magic.
Yours very sincerely, Vita
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