Saturday, June 23, 2007
Leaving
Have accepted the fact that:
My parents are going to kill my plants
My coffee will cost more
The CDs I didn't put on my iPod are the ones I will want later
I will want the raincoat that is in the boat house and probably moldy.
The flight is going to suck
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
New Life for the Blog
I plan to use this as a travel blog over the next month while I'm on the East Coast for my friends and family to keep up with me. Because I think it will be easier than mass emails. And I'm lazy.
So - I leave Saturday. My plane leaves in the six o'clock range and I'll take a red eye to the Philadelphia airport. From there I take a cab to Byrn Mawr and try to find a key to get into my dorm. If I can find my dorm. Then I will get massive amounts coffee.
Three weeks at Bryn Mawr then my parents pick me up and we go to Massachusetts to see Mount Holyoke. If I didn't find any feminists at Bryn Mawr I will certainly find them here. From there we go to Long Island to spend a night with a friend of my mother. We take the ferry from there to New York City and spend a week there to see more schools and Wicked. I get home on the 26th of July.
Theoretically, that's the plan.
-L
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Bored in Bio
Six more minutes... what can I talk about for six more mintues?
Five more minutes.
New story on LJ that's very good. I don't like too much angst but a fair bit is fine. I can handle as much fluff as they'll throw at me, fluff is good.
Hah, time to go!
Monday, January 22, 2007
ABBY!!!!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Random Update
This is shit, it's only January and I've lost all interest in doing homework. Lost all motivation for doing anything which annoys me to no end. Like the biology lab that would take me about five minutes if I just felt like doing it. I've been telling myself I need to do it for the past two hours and I still haven't worked up the energy. That's sad.
Going to do the bio lab. Need the sleep.
Goodnight.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
School
Today I'm sitting in on a blog workshop that Anderson is putting on for the teachers. I think it's very, very amusing. He's very well versed in the subject. He probably knows how to get around all the firewalls. I think I want to be a computer hacker in my next life. Foiling computer system gives me such joy. Sort of like biking really fast in the roundabouts.
I can sign up for NaNo on Sunday!!!!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Spanish Poetry
PRIMARY TOMORROW!!!
It's very sad I'm so into this and I can't even vote. I blame Sparkle Parkle.
Since I'm not updating in Spanish, a Spanish poem. Hopefully I'll have it translated by next Monday.
AL OIDO DEL LECTOR
No fue pasion aquello,
Fue una ternura vaga...
La que inspiran los ninos enfermizos,
Los tiempos idos y las noches palidas.
El espiritu solo
Al conmoverse canta:
Cuando el amor lo agita poderoso
Tiembla, medita, se recoge y calla.
Pasion hubiera sido
En verdad; estas paginas
En otro tiempo mas feliz escritas,
No tuvieron estrofas sino lagrimas.
-Jose Asuncion Silva
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Ballad
Stacy oh Stacy where art thou?
Stacy I miss you I do.
I look for you blindly
Like a spider biting you kindly
And peanut butter and jeeeeeeellllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy!
Are you lost on the sea in a boat?
Or a rubber duck stuck in a moat.
The poor little ducky squeals a quack-quack
See, without you lunch is all wack!
You survived the Wendy's advances
And knew how to take chances.
Don't get eaten by Parker's car
Like a bug in a jam jar.
Oh Stacy oh Stacy where art thou?!?!?!?!?!?!
Funny Lawyers
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something
that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to
and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on
her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning
you and she, with him to the station?
Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.?
What school do you go to?
A. Oral.
Q. How old are you?
A. Oral.
Q: What is your relationship with the victim?
A: She is my daughter.
Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?
Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A: He didn't offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.
Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q: It was covered?
A: Yes, bandaged.
Q: Then, later on.. what did you see?
A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.
Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?
A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.
Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Q: Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.
Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
Q. What is your brother-in-law's name?
A. Borofkin.
Q. What's his first name?
A. I can't remember.
Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't
remember his first name?
A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair
and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell them
your first name!
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A. By death.
Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
Q. What is your name?
A. Ernestine McDowell.
Q. And what is your marital status?
A. Fair.
Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.
Q. And who is this person you are speaking of?
A. My ex-widow said it.
Q. How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
A. Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children
by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.
Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
A. I should be.
Q. How many times have you committed suicide?
A. Four times.
Q. Were you acquainted with the deceased?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. Before or after he died?
Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the
influence?
A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his
words.
Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can
identify me."
Q. Did he kill you?
A. No.
Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all
present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have
any.
Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Hello
I think I'm going to be a song writer. Because I keep writing odes to things. My policy is, I write odes to things (nouns and adjectives) such as crew, and ballads to people (proper nouns) like Stacy, and fraternity pledges to Stephens. I don't know what part of speech Stephens are, but if anyone knows, they should inform me ASAP.
Otherwise, life is good. The democrats have me working long hours doing a job I find rather demoralizing. But someone has to call people and get yelled at. Or get meowed at. Seriously, if the Democratic party called would you meow at them? Or is the cat just really overzealous? I'm going to learn how to play bike polo this weekend at Homo-a-GoGo and I'm very excited.
The story with the letters has gone no where. If anyone has any plot-like ideas I'm open to suggestions. In the meantime I think I will be writing a story about Yoda. Can Yoda be a god in Jarkerism? Please?
I quote the Shoebox Project: I do believe in commas, I do, I do!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
My pond
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Introduction
Vita is a college age student living in a fictional London type place. She lives in a crappy flat with two guys, Jasper and Duncan. Jasper is a singer and an actor, a gay straight guy who thinks he’s too cool for school. Duncan is a painter and a sculptor who takes philosophy classes, he’s very avant-garde, bohemian, very serious, always in love. Mrs. Mitchell is their landlady. Mr. Cabbage used to be a professor at the university until he retired to the country. But he gets bored so he still writes to Vita. Lady Otter is a society lady who’s manipulative, controlling, and generally evil. I think she’s fascinating. Vita used to be her secretary but quit. There’s only two other people who haven’t come up yet, Dorothy: Vita’s rich friend who spends all her time traveling to random locations and sends a lot of postcards. And Ms. West, who teaches at the college and is Vita’s nemesis. I think I’m introducing one other person later, but I’ll let you know. Everyone else is pointless and you can ignore them.
There- Happy?
Oh, and Vita is NOT me. In case you were wondering.
Now I'm off to come up with something vaguely plot-like
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Lillies
I'm very sorry to hear the dogs trampled your lillies. That's what comes from having dogs. At least you're getting a 'very sorry' from me. I told Jasper, he doesn't care a wit. I wanted to tell Duncan, as he is bound to care, you know him, but he's been out wandering since yesterday afternoon. Jasper says he's in love, although with whom we couldn't say. I hope he is. Things are always so much more entertaining when Duncan's in love.
Mrs. Mitchell has actually noticed you're gone. And not only noticed but done something about it. She pulled me aside on the stair well and told me for a good half hour (I was late for work of course) about how you never came around for tea and gingersnaps anymore. I told her you've moved and she almost started to cry. I almost started to laugh. She says you must come and see her. So there's your excuse to come to town. Lady Otter is ignoring me.
Vita
Monday, May 01, 2006
Snippy
So you haven't forgotten me. Or do you only write when you're in town to see the opera? Sorry, teasing. I haven't seen Madam Butterfly yet, Jasper is boycotting it. He tried out for the lead and lost it because he was too young. One would think that would help his vanity not hurt it. I'll try and get in later this week.
I stopped working for Caroline Otter the week before you left, and I haven't started again. She's poisonous. But you know me too well, I'm still in contact with her. She was in Paris last week, I wasn't asked to come. She saw Lawrence Massey anyway, someone I could never see again and it would be too much. I know this will make you sniffy. Blow your nose. She has her good days.
I'm glad you're enjoying the retired life. Wordsworth misses you dreadfully, come and collect her?
Vita
Dear Lady Otter,
Yes, I’m still working at the cafĂ©. You think it’s low class and dirty and a terrible place to work. You’ve told me. But you’re not working there, I am. I like there. It pays well and the hours aren’t horrible and there are interesting people.
Of course I’m still going to school. How could you even think I wouldn’t be.
Now look what you’ve made me do, I’ve gotten snippy. We’ve got different lifestyles. I’m glad you enjoyed Paris. It was always too fast of a city for me. No matter how much you told me to like it. You take everything faster than I do anyway, I’ve got to absorb. Thank you for mentioning me to that friend of yours. I do appreciate it, I do, but don’t do it again. Duncan hates it.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Parakeet
Most glad to have recieved your letter. I had heard you were going to Paris and was worried it had missed you. It is a pity you are in Paris, the street fair was wonderful. It rained most of the day but the sun came out just as the parade started. The whole crowd seemed united in a common age by the general excitement. My cousin Julian says you were asked to join his club he started with some friends. Take my advice and don't. It's very frivilous and tiresome. Come and visit me when you get back unless you stay until after the fourth, I'm going out to Leaska to hear a lecture on magic.
Yours very sincerely, Vita
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Syriana
Saw Syriana tonight. Very good movie. Slightly crazy and hard to follow but very good. Should be seen by many because it's an important movie that deals with oil and modern politics and sounds sort of true. And had very good charactization I thought. Showed both sides of characters, good and bad traits. Very good.
Eegads, tis late and I haven't read Twelfth Night yet. Ah I love that play. I really really do. But I think I'm going to bed now, I'll read it later.
OOOOOOOOOOOOH, A thought! This will be a photo blog. Because it sounds very spiffy and cool and I think I should have one. I shall document my adventures with photos. And Monday will be Spanish day when I can only update in Spanish.
Gee, I wonder how long this will last...
Saturday, April 01, 2006
April first
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Where did my post go?
Bounty Hunter and the Ghost chp 1
Oh well, Monday I rode 7.8 miles around the lake. I meant to go today as well but I went to improv club instead. It was hysterical.
Here is the first chapter of the story tentaively entitled The Bounty Hunter and the Ghost. Kudos for anyone who can recognize who Ms. Cross and Lord Wilson are.
****
The sun had just faltered behind a heavy cloud. A shadow sunk over the entire estate like the silence settling over a crowd at the theater, foreboding and inviting at the same time. The three people that sat inside the conservatory, next to the palm they had watered with coffee that was now starting to rot, were laughing enough they didn’t notice the shadow. Outside the gates a small puttering automobile stopped in front of the winged yaks like it was lost. It stood there for a moment until it’s diver steered it through the gates and up the weedy path. Belching once it braked in front of the dark purple doors.
“That is a really cool suit,” Leopold craned around the fuchsia.
“Where?” Vita asked.
“There.” The other two turned around. The driver of the automobile had gotten out and was picking his way around the pond towards the conservatory door.
“I want his suit,” Alistair said. It was a bright red suit, obviously new.
“It’s a brilliant suit,” Vita agreed. Leopold glanced over his should at Lord Wilson, buried in his book. They turned back to their table as the mane came in the glass conservatory door.
“Ah, hello,” he stopped by Vita’s shoulder. She turned and stared up at him. He had a puffy face that crinkled at his eyes and al seemed to meet at his nose. When the breeze from his movement reached their table all three could smell the Parisian cologne. “I was a wond’ring,” he had a high reedy voice that lilted in a Cajun accent. “If you could tell me how to get to Radcliff.”
“Ah, that way.” All three pointed out the window towards a tree.
“Okay.”
“Um,” Leopold sat up. “Get back on the road – ”
“The highway?” the man asked.
“Yeah, and go that way,” he gestured over his shoulder. “And you should see signs for Radcliff in about ten miles.”
“Then miles that way?” he asked anxiously.
“Yeah,” all three said. “Can’t miss it.”
“Thank you,” his eyes crinkled at them. “Thankou very much.” A cough of cold air blustered in when he opened and closed the door.
“It’ll be a miracle if he gets there,” Vita said. Alistair shrugged.
“Cool suit thought,” Leopold said.
The door opened at the other end of the room and Ms. Cross strode in, pretending to be confident.
“Okay! Let’s start the writing warm up!” she cried, as if this was something they had been waiting for all day. Alistair glanced at Lord Wilson who’s bushy eyebrows were just visible over War and Peace, he rolled his eyes. “Today – ” But what they were doing they never found out, for Ms. Cross was interrupted by a crash and two screams. The crash was very loud and shook the whole room. The first scream was much more a yip than a scream and was made by Ms. Cross. The second scream was a low angry howl that came from above them.
“Fucking hell!” Vita bellowed.
“Astrid’s upset again,” Alistair remarked.
“We’d better go calm her down,” Leopold groaned.
“Oh yes, lets.” They scampered out the door before Ms. Cross could stop them. Astrid had been living in the attic long for much longer than any of the children had been there. According to the story Lord Wilson had told on the night of their arrival she was the sister of the duchess who had first owned the manor. The way Lord Wilson told it they had all been very happy until one day, quite unexpectedly, Astrid had slit her throat. After that the Duchess had moved to London but hadn’t sold the house until she died and Lord Wilson inherited it, who was her cousin. Astrid still haunted the attic, throwing things around whenever she thought it was getting too quiet. Or when Ms. Cross was trying to get something done. The children were the only ones who could get her to calm down, they sat with and told stories about what was going on in the manor and in the world until she went and locked herself in a closet. Which they assumed meant she was happy.
“I wonder why she killed herself,” Leopold mused as they climbed up the stairs to the attic.
“Maybe she was being blackmailed,” Alistair said.
“Or knew a terrible secret.”
“Or she wanted to make somebody feel really really really guilty.”
“Maybe she was just unhappy,” Vita broke in.
“Why though?” Leopold asked.
“Shhh,” Alistair pushed open the door to the attic. It was a long room that ran the length of the manor and was stuffed with all sorts of junk that no one had touched in centuries.
“Astrid?” Vita called softly. A chair threw itself across the room and they ducked.
“You don’t like the writing warms either, do you,” Leopold said. Something whirled out from behind a dresser and Astrid was in front of them, pointing one long bony finger and howling. After a year her wild black hair, her sunken eyes, torn dress, dirty bare feet, and white scar on her neck had stopped scaring them, but her scream still made their hair stand on end. “Thanks though,” Alistair said loudly over the din. “It’s great to get out of them.” Astrid stopped screaming and the farthest corner of her mouth twitched. It was the closest they had ever gotten to a smile.
*****
There we are. So... what should happen next?
